can we have a ...

can we have a poo coming out of his bum?

Today we play with the plasticine Santa gave Poppy. She's picking out the animals and aliens on the box to make, and we tell her "you can make up your own things, you know!"... so I was told to make a bum. (not a tramp, I'll have you know)

I'll get that for you Morag....

I'll get that for you Morag CRUNCH

- A split second slows, as I turn and watch the fantastic Morag McGee's face "about" to say "pick them up by the legs"... Phil, slow down, think... it's a simple ask. What a twit I am.

watch out for the...

watch out for the cat jobbies in the grass!

We've had a spate o jobbies in the back garden. something's going to get a size 10 up its jaxie....



If only.

That's people...

That's people for you

I watched an angry man in a BMW honk and shout at a disabled man failing to cross the road before the green man stopped. His partner, myself and he could not quite believe what we just saw ... I felt sick for this couple. Dear mr BMW man, I hope you made a profit today, I'd hate to think what else you'd do if you didn't - or are you only a dick inside your 25k bubble?

My Poop looked like a...

My Poop looked like a birthday party hat!

I swore never to put up "too embarrassing" quotes from Poppy (If you are reading this at the age of 16+ my sweet, sorry!) - but... this was a doozie. Gabi and I were woken by the dulcit tones of Poppy shouting at us from the toilet... You know, the funny thing was, it did!